I've been emotional recently.
More so than usual.
Not crying. Not openly weeping.
I remember praying for the ability to cry more and care less. I guess I got what I wished for. It's not that I've changed my mind, but I'm simply re-examining my stance.
During this time of my "decision to be happy", I'm watching "C" skate on the ice and laugh with the person of her dreams.
Tears feel different when you've chosen to be happy. Shit, "happy" feels different.
It's new and seemingly difficult to choose music and work on interpretation when I'm doing it from this place. For so long I thought that brooding begat the best of art.
Joy just feels like singing with the taste of "you" on my tongue.
And now I'm praying that you can just act like my life is real for once.
Does anyone know how I feel?