Monday, September 30, 2013

Today's Top 10

  1. I’ve been talking to strangers recently.  Coffee shops.  The bank.  Laundromat.  And not in any weird way.  “How’s that book?”  “Great jacket.”  Small talk.  It’s no more than 3 minutes.  Smiling can be wonderful.

  1. A mutual friend and I share a former friend of mine.  She confessed to me that she often fears the day she too will be let go.  I told her to call me when she stops worrying about that.

  1. I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night.  4:AM recently.  Tea tastes so much better at this hour.  And it’s amazing what can come out of a keyboard with a good set of headphones.

  1. I don’t miss the way you used to throw yourself at men.  You scared off half the white boys I know.

  1. He has a dog.

  1. At least 3 times a year, I try to reinvent my recipe for collard greens.

  1. I’ve never once denied who I am.  And I don't mean that in any sort of anthem-type, poetic stance.  I can truthfully say that I have never in my life denied any portion of myself.  If you came expecting something else, that’s actually not my problem. 

  1. I miss the relevance of MC Hammer.  “Turn This Mutha Out” is still my jam.

    1. Recently, I’ve been lyrically studying the genius of MC Lyte… the original.

  1. And all we have seems to be RuPaul.  Putting on the heels, and the lashes, and the gowns, and the wigs may be all right for some.  It’s the clown, the Mandingo, or the thug I guess.  What about those who like to secretly translate German lieder just for fun?

  1. There are characters that live in my neighborhood with names like Orange, Housedress, and Nosy Pam (R.I.P.).  They are the reasons I sing with the windows open. 

Monday, September 23, 2013

Today's Top 10... (and a little extra)

  1. If 2 birds land in your hand early, do you still get a worm in your bush if you only use the 1 stone?

  1. What is with white people, September 1st, and pumpkin-spiced anything?  It’s just like the walls come down on that day.

  1. I’m compiling a group of Deletion Letters that I will be sending out in nicely wrapped boxes as Christmas presents this year.

  1. “Art is art.  Short for artificial.  Good art, the art of art, is about being as real as you can under these artificial circumstances.” – Joni Mitchell

  1. The common misconceptions that I am angry, regretful, guilty, fearful, worried, judging, competitive, or looking to place blame, usually come from …Scaredy Cats.

    1. Haha, I called you Scaredy Cat.

  1. Have you ever felt “compelled” (direct quote) to betray a friend?  I never have.

  1. Distractions can be nice.  I spent the weekend at a wedding in Provincetown.  Most of yesterday was spent in a car with my best friend.  My evening, sitting in my room listening to the modern day equivalent of a mix-tape…in every sense of the word.  Remember the absolutely ridiculous times through which you still smile.

    1. Also, if he makes mix tapes, he’s gotta be pretty cool, right? 

  1. Each spring, since I was a senior in college, I have re-read “Valley of the Dolls”.

  1. It is completely possible that Candy Crush causes hemorrhoids.

  1. I do not like the word “partner”.

A Bonus #11…Because I felt like it.

  1. Anyone who can give me a valid reason for liking your own Facebook status, please respond with said reasons in the comments section below…if you have time, as I would assume liking your own Facebook stati can be a rather cumbersome job.


My Last "Last Tuesday" event is tomorrow night.  It's with the LEGENDARY Amber Martin.  We're trying to dedicate the evening to the women of the 80s and the men who made them drink.  Come see us at Duane Park at 8PM if you can.  It's free, y'all.  

The 80s got me remembering this ditty I did earlier this year with MCDB!!  Girl, where are you?  Should we try the 90s next?

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Don't you wanna?

Don’t you wanna?

Don’t you wanna be moved by somebody?

            Not picked up and thrown across the room
                        Although, I know some of you little bitches are into that.

Don’t you wanna be moved by somebody?

            Somebody to grab you by the friendly parts

                        Instead of just grabbing you by the back of your head

Don’t you wanna be moved by somebody?

            Instead of just letting them place an ashtray in the small of your back

Don’t you wanna be moved by somebody?

            Because the subway alone can be an awful place to try to fit in.

Don’t you wanna be moved by somebody?

            Instead of being so angry all the time.

Don’t you wanna be moved by somebody?

            By the way he walks into, out of, and across the room.

Don’t you wanna be moved by somebody?

            By the way he cooks for you?

            Because dividing recipes in half was getting to be no fun.

                        And he understands that you just don’t like chocolate.

Don’t you wanna be moved by somebody?

            By the light he brings into your world.
                        Cuz it was getting awfully dark there for a second.

                                    & being a love-sick Queen didn’t even work for Cleopatra

Don’t you wanna be moved by somebody?

Don’t you wanna be moved?

Don’t you?

What’s the answer?

In an effort to get through these next few months, things have got to be compiled from a variety of sources and kept like doggies in a row.  Is it doggies?  I thought it was ducks at one point?  

Organizing thoughts from different receipts, napkins (I still do that) and legal pads of paper (I also, still write, but only because my pen collection is rivalrous), is only arduous when I compare it to my recent attempts at [re]organizing my OkCupid and profiles.  

I realize I'm asking a series of questions.  

Do I move you?  
Do you move me?  What color are his eyes?
However do I want it?  Try to put his smell into words.
Don't you want to be moved by somebody?  

At a time of day when the horizon isn't important - maybe noon, I may also question these:  
Did she settle?  They must lie silently in bed.  
Did you see his smile when he said they were opening up their relationship to a third?  
There's no way he really wants that.

I found it was easier to study others instead of paying attention to myself.  And it's left me perplexed.  I'm not impressed by what I find.  The research.  The excavation.  The cream of the crop seems to be rapidly curdling.  

But it's sometimes comical for a fool like me to believe in faith.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Today's Top 10

  1. I got to use my “first date” shirt last week. (I’ve still kept the tags on it, just in case)

    1. It was also not used on a date.

  1. Learning to say “No” can take years. 

  1. Secretly, I spend hours in both the Strand Bookstore and the Barnes & Noble on East 86th Street and Lexington Avenue.  The fact that I still can get completely lost in bookstores this close to their extinction reminds me that underneath it all, I must be human.

  1. Is it still called a friend if you live in the same city, approximately 1 mile away from each other, haven’t seen each other in over a year, and only communicate via the internet…on birthdays?

    1. I’m all about the lowercase “b” in “birth”

    1. I have a friend who deletes the abovementioned from his social media circle on the person’s birthday.  (If I haven’t spoken to you all year, then why am I electronically keeping you around?)

  1. My neighbor puts out.

  1. After a summer of trying to be better about attending everyone’s everything, I’m so happy to return to regularly scheduled non-attendance this Fall. 

  1. I absolutely adore Cape Cod in September.

  1. Sing with friends.  Sing with old friends.  I did this weekend, and I’m still smiling about it. 

  1. Children and I are intrigued by each other.

  1. People who consistently let you down with their lack of involvement in your life are often called flakes.  Like snowflakes, no two people will ever let you down the same way.  Flakes melt.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Today's Top 10

  1.  I’ve never seen any of the Harry Potter movies.

  1. Who are the black gay power couples?  Or do I have to wait on that one?

  1. I have a fan in my room that has just been on since June 12th of this year.  Is that wrong?

  1. Gloria Loring’s son steals songs.

  1. If you believe that my Facebook status is about you and depicts you in a negative light…  Actually, I have nothing else to say about that one.  But you’ve got some serious time on your hands.

  1. I want to live by the beach.  Near?  No, on.

  1. I always thought they stayed together because he didn’t have to worry about paying the rent every month.  Consummate and trained (albeit lazy) bottoms have such an easier life.

  1. Since the Fall of 1998, I have been compiling a list entitled “Not At My Wedding”, which I still use to this day.  It is kept in a Wonder Woman journal.

  1. It is perfectly acceptable to me that I have never seen “Grease 2”.

  1. It annoys me to no end to watch someone put a drink next to a coaster.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013


Black love used to be about black power.  
Now it seems it's more about gossip, 
who can out-shuck the other, 
while another one's agent knows all the jive.  

You can change all the pronouns you want in the songs you "sang", but you're still just fodder...
or a lyric in a Kanye West song.  

Do you really have a Dream?
Or a political agenda?
Or just a New York Times account and the safe, soft,
Brown ability
to click "share" on what your daddy (remember him) told you to spread.

Know who you were.
I think you do.
Be more concerned with the actions of yourself 
instead of the assumed stagnancy of others.

Brown boy, advance!
Brown boy, don't succumb 
to what seems the safest route.

They even sold afro-wigs in the 60s 
for those too afraid to march.

Either wear today's daishiki,
or raise the same fist.

Get a job and 
don't be a part of the equation your lighter shade
has helped you to avoid.

Get a job.
Pay your rent.
Don't turn into a YouTube comment.

Don't grow it out just for a role.
Do something.  
Don't try to be something.

Set an example.  Don't just share someone else's. 

Brown boy, 
you better run.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Today's Top 10

  1. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich instantly makes me feel like I’m in kindergarten again.  I still love that feeling.

  1. Recently, I purchased the perfect shirt for a first date.  (Don’t worry, I’ve kept the receipt)

  1. I’ve added “Listening” to the special skills section of my resume.  People should know.

  1. “Until the lion has his own historian, the hunter will always be the hero.”

  1. I want to build a recording studio in my own house. And no, you can’t use it.

  1. Everyone should shave their head at least once in their lives.  It is the most liberating feeling.

  1. In my world, bacon should never be on a burger.  For some reason, I do not enjoy when my edible animals touch.

  1. A lot of people over the age of 30 have been very concerned about a recent performance by something named “Miley”.

  1. There are more than 4 people I know very well who are admittedly in absolutely loveless marriages or relationships.

  1. In life, I have had multiple close-to-religious experiences listening to Aretha Franklin’s “Spirit In The Dark”.  If you don’t know it, listen.  It was often a duet with Ray Charles back in the day.  It is my church.
A special Holiday Bonus...

- I used to hold board meetings in my bedroom as a child with each of my stuffed animals lined up to discuss the day's events.  Miss Piggy was the secretary.  I recently dedicated a song to my old stuffed friends.